How is 2019 going for you?
I was so pumped to go into the new year. 2018 was a huge year for change and 2019 was going to be the year I propel forward. I spent the New Year with the kids and a great friend. The first weekend in January was such an amazing weekend at Kripalu with my soul sisters. 2019 started off so amazing. Then I got sick for weeks, my face started breaking out, I gained some of the weight back that I lost in 2018, I was not making the money I thought I would and I was feeling so overwhelmed.
What happened to what was going to be the best year of my life?
This month has been a big time of reflection for me. I got so real with myself and I realized that I am letting fear win. Every time I am about to level up I let fear take over and I self-sabotage.
Are there any other self-sabotagers out there?
I found myself slipping back into old patterns and I was blaming stress and circumstances for where I was at. REALLY?? After all the work I have done on myself I know better than that. I have control over what happens. I may not have control over other people or events that effect my life, but I do have control over how I react to them and how I let them impact my life. I have made a lot of major life changes over the past couple of years to improve my life. And I am grateful for where I am compared to where I was, but the “work” is never done. Though I have made so many strides in changing my behavior, it was way too easy to slip back into old patterns.
During this time of reflection, I realized that there is still so much I don’t know yet. There are things that do not serve me that I just keep repeating over and over. I stopped eating well, blaming not feeling good. I was not exercising consistently either, blaming my focus on work. Why? It’s a vicious cycle. I know what is good for me yet I keep doing the opposite anyway. And it all comes down to FEAR.
What am I afraid of? Am I afraid to succeed? Why? Am I afraid to lose weight? Why, what does the weight symbolize? Fear will not hold me down. It is time to stop the madness! Time to dig deep, figure it out and rise up.
There are 2 truths in life, Love & Fear. And love will always win!!
With positive energy, focus, hard work, perseverance & gratitude, I will live an inspired life filled with love. And 2019 will be my best year yet!
What about you?